Best Day Ever - at least in awhile

Personal self care is important. I am not arguing that. But until it is in integrity, I always forget just how important it really is. It is nothing more than frosting on a cow pie otherwise. I can pretend all I want, it doesn't change anything.
If I am not taking care of myself completely first, nothing else falls into place. The whole day is on struggle to the next, playing scramble and catchup all day long.

What makes today so great?
No only was I working my my own essence choices, I wanted to make those choices. The old adage "when you trust yourself you will know what to do" Today I have been timidly I admit, trusting myself. Allowing stuff to flow. Am I tired, oh yeah. Sore, oh absolutely.
But I did things today. I didn't move any mountains, and there's nothing for anyone else to see. But results will show in time. I made money leaps. I did it anyway.
No biggie, but considering my state this past while, HUGE, momentous in fact.

And there was icing on the cake. I committed to training again. Twice a week TKD. I look ridiculous with all those kids. I still think I look like a marshmallow or potato with a belt on.
But I am going to do this. I am going to earn that black belt in three years. I have things to do.
SO I committed last night to go to class today. I went in early just in case they needed me to do errands,which has happened the last three weeks. I was ready. Took my bag in before driving.
Guess what today was. Sparring. We all know how I feel about that, and what i say I feel about that. DO you have any idea what one hit in the wrong place could do? It's taken months to get this far. It could set me right back to the beginning. I would be so screwed.
I went to sparring class. It is the best class ever. Only time when hitting your own children is not only permitted, allowed, but encouraged and necessary. AND they get to hit mom.

It was alot of fun. A good work out to boot. And I did my first sparring competition. Considering this is my second ever sparring class, it was interesting. I hit my opponent in the nose and he kept kicking me in the shins. No holding back, just going at it.

1& 2 were the final combatants. Considering how much they'd been fighting today. You'd think they'd got at it pretty hard. She held back. afraid of getting hurt and he won. But they did get out some aggression.

So 1,2,3 saw body works exhibit with dissection club. We talked about it before, and I left it open for them if they needed to discuss anything later. I tried to prepare them for what they might see, without my creeped out prejudices. I opted not to go. They weren't bothered by anything. They thought it was very cool and couldn't stop talking about it. Even the pregnant woman was ok with them. They thought her story was sad, but fetal development was wicked I believe they used. Very cool in any case they thought.
Good for them.
I appear to be succeeding in not passing along my physcological issues to them.
It's my greatest fear to scar them with all my stuff. I am limited, but I don't want them to be. I want to impart on them that they can and should do anything that they want to do or have or be.
Within reason - legal, safe, helping not hindering
What more could I do for them?

At the end of the day nothing else matters if they went to bed not knowing that they were loved.
And they are. With every fiber of who I am With all that I have.
They are loved.