And onto today.

Can't hide anymore. I know way to dammed much.
It's difficult to be vulnerable and out there and open. I haven't really ever been a fan of open. And now here I am learning to practice it.

Accepting one thing after another. Ja showed up in my head and that really pisses me off. Looks like that anger is coming out now. Guess it may be about time though. Doesn't serve me any to hold onto it. Just still feeling anger with myself for that whole mess I made and it's easier to deflect it from to and direct it at him. I got it that that's just another blame game victim stand. For now I'll let it be. Allow it all to come to the surface, look at it and then be done with it. I mean not like it has any impact on him, this one is all me baby.

I was thinking about that and a bunch of stuff this morning, when I found myself wide awake very early - after a restful, nice, dreamless sleep.
Then I heard that voice with the answer. The one I am susposed to be listening to. The one that is freaking me out more and more all the time with light, possibility and potential.
- Get over it. You need to get over all of it already. Get through this and move beyond it. You need to move past this point. You were drawn here because there is Power there. Great Power. This is not about that. This is about achieving the greatest potential. Get over it so that that can happen.
Stop messing around being small and let the the real game begin. You are here to make a difference, so get going already. You have power and that draws other great powers to you, can you just imagine what could happen if they all combined forces and worked together? What do you think this whole process is all about anyway?


Damned brain just won't shut up