Weird

No more Nutella at midnight.
That's going to be my story and I am sticking to it.
How else do I explain those very bizarre and way to real dreams? I mean Cody K? For goodness sake what on earth was he doing in there?
I was going to write them down the first time I woke up, but didn't want to leave my covers.
Flashpoint? What is that? Maybe I remembered it wrong cause I certainly can't find that today.

Kept thinking yesterday about the wannaneedafinda thing. How do I go about making that happen? I see all those things right there in front of me, but not sure what to do about them all? Not all something I can do anything about, but never know who you know who might.

I am going to be in for a rough day already.
Mornings wouldn't be so bad if not for the dizziness and nausea. My whole world is spinning and I not like it so much.
It's after 8 and still pretty bad.

Sugar late at night? Not sure.
I am not liking it in any case.

Big thing I got from last night, is that life carries on. Just like normal, no matter what I am doing.
Everyone is all still there. Everyone pull or no pull.
Having that jackass show up was not warranted I don't care what anyone says.
Interesting that the antidote for that was also present.
I think maybe its time to pick some different night time reading material.
Something that isn't going to play with my mind and give my imagination any more fuel to burn.
Weird night anyway.

And it's a spinning day I guess. Don't think this is going to pass any time soon.
C'est La vie.

I am missing my groups already.
Lack of hugs for one. I was getting pretty used to that. Now I'll actually have to send out a request on my own.
And the physical support itself.

I've been stalling for two days now. Today susposed to have that rescheduled staff meeting.
Yippee more drama at me. I know I can choose how I want to experiance it. I don't want to quit completely, but I don't want it to stay how it is.
My babies come second, I come first. TKD may be in the top five, but I can't let it be first anymore. To much else to do.
My babies need me home to put them in bed a night. That is what comes first.
And I need the courage to take my stand and play Black.

Hard and worth it.