Never been so happy to be so cold

I can hardly believe the context I created for myself today.

It was a very early morning. As much as I may like the concept of early mornings, they still make me sick to my stomach. Not even high protein helped today. That was strike one not in my favour. And the day that I created was the one that would serve me the best and give me the most value, not the one with the best weather.
I've talked allot about wanting to have the time to be outside playing in the rain. Well. Wish granted. It was absolutely pouring rain today. But not the miserable cold Alberta rain, nor the tropical heat rainforest rain, a warm California soaking rain.
It was good. Refreshing. and it smelled absolutely amazing. IT was perrrrfect.

There were a couple of activities today. The first was about personal commitments and the second was about relationship - buddy and others commitments.

The hike in was a little daunting. I forget sometimes even I have limits. Yeah right. Climbing is difficult for me in ideal conditions. These weren't those.
We Danced away to get started in the Cathedral room. Giagantic green canopy overhead. Rocking out. It was fun. Not so fun with an upset stomach, but fun.
And hey I was open. I showed up.
Sitting in the stands area looking up was intimiditaing., I believe the phrase I used was Ah hell No. But there are staff there to assist with that.
When he talked about what kind of an experiance we could create out of this I was in.
I wanted to show that I could in fact show up. I choose to make this about bringing and being JOY PASSION and RESPONSIBILITY. And to loving 100%. And guess what?
I went first up that tree. Climb up 25 feet turn and jump out into mid air.
That's no biggie. And you know what? It wasn't that four foot ladder up to the trust platform was taller than that. I'd already let go of all that fear in that exercise. Then I realized with that gone, I had all this room for love. I like the lovin' feeling. Most of that was for love of myself. Right down to my toes!
I climbed up. I noticed something, I'm heavy. I don't really want to carry myself around. Then I stood up, saw the view and made a choice. I chose to jump backwards into midair from a stand of JOY. I loved it. Flying in mid-air on that bileigh line. Kicking and screaming and shouting for joy with absolute passion. No holding back in any way shape or form. Being me. Feeling that love all the way to my toes.
Just imagine what that could look like in my life.
To not hold back and just just into midair? To love my kids that way, to show them how to love themselves that way. What a transformation I could make in the world with that one small giagantic act.

I spent the next hour cheering at the top of my lungs to get the rest of my team up that pole to the top. And they all did it. Whether they heard me or not. I got them all to the top cause I was focused and committed to them - no holding back. I have no voice now, but that doesn't really matter.

The second one I was pretty sure I was physically done. No more energy for any more. But I committed to showing up and playing; not trying - doing.
I did climb all the way up the those ladders all 25 feet with PJ coaching me the entire way. Shaking arms and legs and all. I knew I could walk across the zip line with her. She got me, I was safe. What I didn't know was if I could actually show up for her or if I'd just let her carry me along like I do everything else. Listening to that little voice talk to my inner two year old saying i can't i can't i can't
Then show her you CAN. And I jumped. All the way accross to her. The whole way. 100% committed. I showed up. She was there and we fell together.
I showed up. I could hardly believe it, but I did believe it. I was there.
That was a good feeling.

Third was a climb over the 15 foot wall without talking as a team.
Talk about stepping into discomfort. Don't like small spaces, crowds pushing on me and being pushed up a wall.
But yet again I showed up open and it worked out.

Fairly big day. Doing some laundry now. The hot shower and dressing up for dinner.
Wearing the Royal Purple dress and my black heals. Dressing up. Looking forward to it.