So how is one supposed to live out loud when all i want to do is curl up forever and disappear?
I'm tired, my body aches, my head is throbbing, my back is killing me and my legs are all cramped up. I don't want to great another day.
How come I let little things bleed away at my reserves? I have those for stuff that matters. None of this matters, but yet I let all these little things become mountains.
Big things? I think not, just a big mess. One I am just not even sure where to begin cleaning or fixing.
Damned roller coaster ride. Up then down.
I suck at this, I really do.
It's hard work, and there are days when I just can't figure out how to do it.
I feel drained today. And I know it's all my own doing.
Focus on the stuff that matters and let the rest take care of itself.
Yet I know I've internalized all this stress and I can't let it go cause I have no way to fix any of it.
Rambling on yet again.
Man my head hurts. As long as the brain cloud doesn't come back.
I don't think I could ever handle being unplugged again.
One of if not the scariest things I've ever been through. Yes as long as the fog stays at bay, I think I can handle the rest.
If I just take the them things don't get this far down. But then that's the catch 22.
That morbid part that wants it to get this bad. Fully knowing the consequences I make this choice. Like I can't help myself. It's like I'm the observer again in my own life.
I hate it. Watching my life like I'm on the outside.
It's not what I want.
Usually that's enough to make the difference.
What I would give for a week or two and Sanoviv.
To finally have some answers. Someone to ask my theories to.
All just nonsense to anyone else.
Would it make any sense If I said I was afraid to go to my day?
What if ... up!
I'm tired, my body aches, my head is throbbing, my back is killing me and my legs are all cramped up. I don't want to great another day.
How come I let little things bleed away at my reserves? I have those for stuff that matters. None of this matters, but yet I let all these little things become mountains.
Big things? I think not, just a big mess. One I am just not even sure where to begin cleaning or fixing.
Damned roller coaster ride. Up then down.
I suck at this, I really do.
It's hard work, and there are days when I just can't figure out how to do it.
I feel drained today. And I know it's all my own doing.
Focus on the stuff that matters and let the rest take care of itself.
Yet I know I've internalized all this stress and I can't let it go cause I have no way to fix any of it.
Rambling on yet again.
Man my head hurts. As long as the brain cloud doesn't come back.
I don't think I could ever handle being unplugged again.
One of if not the scariest things I've ever been through. Yes as long as the fog stays at bay, I think I can handle the rest.
If I just take the them things don't get this far down. But then that's the catch 22.
That morbid part that wants it to get this bad. Fully knowing the consequences I make this choice. Like I can't help myself. It's like I'm the observer again in my own life.
I hate it. Watching my life like I'm on the outside.
It's not what I want.
Usually that's enough to make the difference.
What I would give for a week or two and Sanoviv.
To finally have some answers. Someone to ask my theories to.
All just nonsense to anyone else.
Would it make any sense If I said I was afraid to go to my day?
What if ... up!
My Why.
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