Letting Go

Why does it feel like I'm holding onto unravelling threads?

I've come to believe after today, that the gorgeous sunshine brings out the idiots. It's like flipping a switch or something. Who knew my defensive driving winter training was going to be needed on a day like today. I got hit. In the big van. Full of kids. Dumbass. I'm still livid. Who does a u-turn in middle of a road into oncoming traffic? No I'm not livid, I'm scared and upset. Some giant jackass just endangered not only my kids but a hole bunch of others I'm responsible for. I would have taken the impact. I was paying attention and stopped just as he touched my bumper.
Kids were upset. I was upset. I don't know that I have ever yelled that much at another driver. I do try to keep that under control and be as courteous as I might like to be treated. BUT HELL. No more accidents. Ten serious in six is way more than enough. NO.
I think I've been over this recently...

The only way I am going to get everything done is if I have an enabler of some kind.
For the next few weeks anyway. I just have to get things done.
Figure caffeine might be best option. Last ECG was ok, so it should be fine. An actual heart attack is highly unlikely. One way to be productive. And then I won't be able to notice just how tired I am.
What with stuff now, won't be sleeping anyway, so might as well have enough energy to get some catch up done.

Pat called and we took care of all those things last night I was wanting to get to. The ones I haven't had any time to get to. She just knew. Least someone did. Those what's going on calls are nice every once in awhile. She just seems to know. That woman is amazing.

I get my massage tomorrow, finally. The one I have been in desperate need of for weeks now. Sandy called with a cancellation. Then maybe I can see straight, breathe and stand up. My back is killing me, almost as much as my shins. Well no they are not to bad today. Keep the magic in does really work. Spent whole day running around the zoo with the animals, looking at the ones in cages. Though all of those pains are no where near as much as the other. Dammit. And I do know it's stress. My outlets are to small for the excess to balance out.

It was nice to get a little peace tonight for just a few moments. I'll hold on to that and the leaf fight at lunch while I am up tonight. Two good nights sleeps are enough for now, right?
Sleep just one of those things I won't have much time for, esp tonight. Maybe after I get a few things completed.

I do have that tea, should keep me up for little bit. Two week supply sounds about right.
It'll just be one more way to keep the faith, or the front, whichever.

Having that other exercise is also a helpful tool. I was right about the direction to take.
Keep it that way and it will serve it's purpose.

Just Breath deep and dive in.
I'm not sure of any other way to do this.
It would have been a good hug day; more than my little lovelies anyway.
I'm good either way.

How can I Do this again?