Sensing a Habit here

Well It seems I have found that outlet I was looking for.
This may become a very regular habit for the next little while.

I would call this day damn near perfect.
Hard as hell, difficult, challenging and yup perfect.

The stars out tonight really just confirmed that.
Confirmed that all is right with the world and my role in it.
I love being able to see the night sky from my own back yard.
My little oasis. Cluttered though it may be right now.

In being presented with choices and challenges, I am beginning to see what emerges in the process.
Dan told me it was my casualness with my commitments that was holding me back.
I am seeing my commitment coming forward like never before.

I know what I want for the first time in such a long time.
And not just in this moment either.
I can see the path ahead, and I like it.
It scares the crap out of me. Terrifies me completely, but does not petrify my actions.
I can see the clear choice.

It's official
I've been Klemmered.
And so now the countdown begins. I have two very very full weeks at this new stuff.
I don't recall ever being so busy and I am not even started there yet.
This weekend I'll spend with family counting my very many blessings and being grateful for everything.
Tuesday it's a whole new ball game.
It'll take allot of overtime / overdrive to get there.
Ontologically speaking, it's go time.

I am going to San Fransisco.
I will not be here for Halloween or any of that other stuff.
In making that happen, Sanoviv doesn't seem all that far away this year.
I am going to complete this next step in the process.
A whole week of learning who I really am; intensified.

When I look back at these last several months, and think about where I wanted to be this year, I cannot help but feel astounded.
I wanted to be done carrying all that baggage, those big boulders from my past. The ones I couldn't even lok at. Really took that one on.
I wanted my dance with my deamon to be over; finished.
I don't have the time for that anymore.
I wanted to get a grip on my direction and really see my vision and potential.
Wow. And then some.

I wore my killer ass jeans today for the first time in oh about a year. Damn they looked good with those boots. It sure made for the right kind of day. I decided I'm not waiting.
Just go for it.
It felt awesome meeting with people looking like that, feeling like that. Amazing.

Got the papers handled with Danny.
Got some reading in for the book club.

Really took alook at my options this afternoon.
Looked at what I needed completed before it really begins and did what I needed to, to do that.

Living with no regrets that I didn't do enough. Being there 100%.
Tough for me to listen, but once I did, I had a real peaceful feeling.
Knowing I had done enough.
I could get used to peace. Doesn't mean things go my way.
It means I showed up and I did my part.

There is no going back now, I know way to much.
I know without a doubt what happens next.
And my commitment solidifies a little further.

Writting down the other stuff has been a good tool to keep them from becoming to distracting during the day. I think I'll keep that exercise open for now, so I can keep doing just that.
They seem to need a way out. Besides the repeat is getting hard to pay attention with.

I even got to dance tonight.
First to Israel what's his name's OtR. Then to Nk's new Sbody. Later on to I hate this song.
Wow I actually remembered the names, that's amazing.
Dancing sets my heart free.

I Planned a night with Randie over weekend to go dancing or let the shark teach me some Pool.
I think the pool game is going to win. Now I have to figure out a good place to do that.
Might take a few more along or be just us.
Another one of those Gratitude moments.

With a thankful heart.
To the journey.