Rainy day

Yesterday I thought was a rather good day. I got a few things done.

Had a really good talk with Theresa. There is nothing anywhere that says I have to focus on lack in present. I can absolutely look at what I have alrea dy achieved to know just what is possible. I've done some pretty damn amazing things. Focusing on those is much more fun, rewarding and productive.

After all that. I still spent a night in the ER.

Asthma related vascular restriction. Meaning I couldn't catch my breath properly and my chest/head were really hurting.

So much for being drug free. Apparently Torodol is still my friend. Can you develop a dependancy on med, where have to have it long term? Wouldn't surprise me if I did. No cold turkey. Just small amounts. AND have to have non-expired ventilin for use. Works better with regular use, not just when needed.

Though the liquid stuff works much faster. It really gave me the jitters. Get's heart rate WAY up there. But then I could talk and breath and then sleep.

It was rather scary. Not knowing what's going on with own body should be something I'd be used to, but I'm not. Not the pleasantest of nights.

I really need Sanoviv. How can I make that happen?

There are all these symptons of something. At least at Sanoviv, i'd have team dedicated to finding out why and what makes me tick. Could do something about it, long before medical community finds it.



On another note, I think it might be time to rethink the whole facebook thing. P just did we're related thing. Nick is on there. I don't want to have any contact there. His profile pic was the same pose that used to terrify me. Only slight twinge seeing it now. I still want to kick his ass.

Or do something. Getting a bit rilled.



So will be taking it easy for few days. NO all day/nighters for awhile.

Some stuff in evening. No running. Lots of rest and sleep. Recouping time they called it.

Man, really tired.

I have things to do, don't they know that? I don't have time to sit still. AND that right there is the whole reason why I now have to do so.

Listen. Listen.

Or I will make you pay attention.

I wasn't even stressed yesterday.

Comes along and gets me on a good day. How fair is that?
But I sure do love my camera!


Would I rather be feared or loved? Umm...easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me