Survival

I made it through another night.
I survived yesterday. All of yesterday.

I cried for a long time last night.
Started outside, then realized that being on that lawn in the middle of night was probably a very bad idea, and did allot more at home.
I actually got to the good cry part. Past all the shock, anger, into the pain and then the next stuff.
Great big sobs. I think it's all out now. Sure there's more for another time.
That seems to be the pattern here, but sleep came.
Not the fit full restless, nightmares I was afraid of.
The good, peaceful, long awaited and much needed deep and resting kind.
I don't know when the last time was I got 8 solid hours of good sleep.
I didn't realize just how much I was needed that either.

It's 9:30 we were supposed to leave hours ago, and I haven't even started.
I was just going to stay up all night, get everyone ready and crash once we left.
I even thought about one of those 5 hour energy shots. Though the caffeine would kill me for sure
A heart attack is prob. a bad idea today.

Sleep was really good.
Really. Really. Good
I have no idea what I was dreaming about either.
I know I was, but they faded away and left behind comfort.
Like a hug on the inside.
Today I don't feel the rain.
None at all.
Very nice.

To a fun four-day weekend.
One I've needed for longer than I knew.
Nice. very Nice.