Day ends

After days of having too much to say, I'm finding it hard to think of anything tonight. Just wanting to make sure anything that needs to be out is so that I can sleep tonight.

I didn't get up until almost 1pm. Perhaps I overdid the sleep thing, cause I've been tired all day. Or maybe my mind and body are finally catching up with each other. I do feel completely tired.

Needless to say all my big plans for the day around here didn't happen. And that's ok too.

I think we're moving on into an acceptance somewhat. I took them down tonight to wave. Then we got ice-cream and talked at my spot. Then we went for walk/run together. It was fun.

NOT quiet though. I think I prefer the quiet. It's all good though.

I can remember not to long ago when I dreaded these single parent weekends; alot of fear and anxiety. I was thinking about that tonight. It isn't really a big deal anymore. There is no real anxiety. I don't respond the same way. It used to bring up what I thought were huge abandonment issues. I used to have to make people stay with me on those weekends so I wouldn't be alone. Make a big deal about it and everything.

It seems almost funny now. Almost. Nothing funny about feeling alone and abandoned.

It's all good too, now though. I'm all good. Whatever happens, things will always be ok.

As much as I do not like single parenting, I know that's ok too.

It all works out in the end. No sense stressing about stuff have no control over.

The what ifs nearly drove me made before. Sad really, it's such a waste of time.

It's good to be past all that now.

I think going to have to devote some time to my sketch pad. Those eyes keep staring at me from inside my head. Gotta get them out on paper and see who they are.

Only one more night/day. Single parenting ends just in time for tomorrow's dinner. What am I going to cook for 10? Gotta get dinning room ready still. And kitchen. And...

Looks like I have lots of things to do tonight.

Reading A/D stuff today. Miss that show I does.

On a final note.

Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.
Lindsay: Yes, and you almost got arrested for those business cards.

I'm tired of trying to find happiness through lies and self-medicating. If you need me, I'll be at the bar.

To a new day.