Silly Me

SO that dinner party thing I was worrying over last night. How I wasn't going be able to get it all done, yada yada. Well I got that part worked out. Pork Roast slow roasting in garlic and apricots. Baked pears with carmel sauce. Strawberry Ceaser. Yup got the food part all taken care of. Handled.

Then it was pointed out that we had dinner out plans for today.

How could I forget that?

Dinner with his Aunt Jo and everyone. How did I forget it was today?

The same day.

Now I have egg on my face. I feel so silly. Good thing I know how to laugh.

I still have some very yummy baked pears that turned out even better than I thought they would. I love it when the stuff I make up, not only turns out, but then to be way beyond even my expectations too. What a rush of warm fuzzies. The kitchen is my canvas.

#2 had a really rough night. Got bad bit of strep I'm thinking. Had her resting all day, sleeping. Mostly just chillin'. Needless to say we are not sharing those germs. So the two of us get a quiet evening together.

The roast is sure good. After 10 hours of slow roasting it better be. Even old buzzard could be made to taste somewhat decent with right cooking method, and seasonings.

It is going to be one busy week this week. With a long weekend away tagged on at the end. I have soooo much to get all worked out before we leave. Never mind the trip itself. And all stuff fri/sat. Then the other stuff sunday. It's alot to get my head around at this point.

I'm tired just thinking about my week. Movie weekend was a good idea. Glad I did that.

I've got to wrap up something on Ath. Appt. this week. I really need to get the house staged at the very least tomorrow. It is the last and least thing I can do. The I can walk away. It will be really hard to walk back in there. Spent alot of time with my brother in that house. Somehow there's still that connection. It feels hard and sad together. And necessary. Just wish I could take someone with me. Another sign I can see that move into acceptance. I can have acceptance and still be sad. That was good to realize. No so much of the anger anymore.

I tried last night to sketch. It just wouldn't come. I can see them behind my eyes when I close them, and on the paper. Just can't seem to get them out yet. And it's not because I have very little experiance with faces and eyes either. It just seems to noisy to connect my hands to. How does that make any sense? They are connected, it is my body.

Try again.

They are I don't know, intense, maybe.

It's not an uncomfortable or frightening thing, just unexpected.

I just don't get why they are intense at me; watching.

Oh well. Give it another shot later.

Things seem to flow well when I am sitting on that bench. I just don't know how much time I will have this week for that. Life is creeping back in, and it's time to pick it back up again.

I want to now. I haven't for what feels like a long time.

I want to see just how much big I can get to. Now that I've tasted it just a little.

Collette always said "A Dream that's too Big is just the right size."

Bigger dreams.

Flying.