Out Loud

I figured out what that thing, or feeling, or whatever going on inside is.

Or rather I remembered. No that's not it either. It came back, all of a sudden it was back; there again just like it had never been absent.

The Dancer.

Spinning, twirling, elegant and graceful. The beautiful ballerina from so many decades ago, came dancing back. As though she had never even left. And really, she never did. She was just hidden behind so many other things. Life got in the way of that beautiful, exuberant innocence.

Pushing her back into a hidden corner; forgotten. Still she danced.

Here I was looking back at a long, lost broken road, lost dreams behind me and here up in front it what I was looking for all along. The dancer in me. The little girl all grown up still dancing; living out loud. I only saw the broken road. As I watched the myself become the dancer, it wasn't broked anymore. A starlit highway solid and firm.

Being connected to who I am on the inside is true power.

And I thought the first OS upgrade was hard. The work with Denise years ago was phenomenal. I had no idea I could actually think that big. This though, this has been putting back all those pieces that Denise and I could never get to. All those doors, rooms, pieces.

I feel as though I am raising a city? Is that how I describe it? I'm really not sure. Solidifying a foundation. Something to build on? It's a very immense. Whatever is to come is even more than that.

It feels purposeful. Guided. Planned even. Though I may not be consciencly aware of it all, internally I am the architect.

Big things and bigger to come.

And so I dance.

In harmony, with perfect rythum of in Essence. I dance.

Outloud.