Game?

My head is throbbing this morning. It hurt way to much to write this last night or early this morning when I got up. Someone thought head-butting was a good idea. Ornery little billy goat. It was not a good idea. I have the bump and concussion to prove it too. But it was still fun to play and run in the rain with them.

This is for the earlier post. Later I realized more of bastard #2 was not it that balloon.
Need a new balloon. So foo fighters to make this little easier to come out. The pain is still so sharp.

How could he think it was a game? Because it started that way. I just didn't care. The whole bunch of them thought I need some corruption. And they were obligated to do just that. They thought the whole kissing cousin thing was funny even cute.[shudder].
I didn't, but what could I do? Not like anyone else was wanting to do that. There wasn't anyone there on my side, I wasn't at home.

Little experiment.
They thought I should learn to play poker. My mother would never approve. Neither would my dad. Though that might actually get his attention. Maybe that was my final push. What did I care? Why not.
So poker. I hate poker. I'm a fast learner. And a very good player. Perfect poker face. Now maybe see why I hate that game so much. It has it's adrenaline rush that I still love to feel, but the other makes me so sick to my stomach.

A game.
Then they were all gone. Just the two of us. I had won most of the hands, once I caught on. I am fast learner. His buddy and sister were not impressed. It was suspossed to go differently I guess. They left. All but the last hand. The others had already folded, thanks to me. He called my bluff and he won. Second was OK. It was my first game. Just a game.
I turned on a movie, maybe?

The he pointed out that I owed him and had to pay up. We hadn't been playing for money or anything. But I forgot that part. He offered a kiss as full payment.
[turn music up louder, louder]
Then he suggested a rematch just two of us to make up for it.
How did I not see this coming? Am I really that stupid? For a smart girl I can make such idiotic choices. Just stupid time and time again. I mean really. [louder]
How about strip poker? That would make up for it right? Chance to embarrass him? Prude. You're on.
If I lost, he won? Did I? If he lost, I won? Right? No. NO.
I think he got my socks and maybe my sweater. He had boxers.
Then it got, turned, what ugly?
I didn't know how to stop this. I said no. What to do. I could run. But where? His house, his town. I knew no one but his family.
Family.

I told him no. I told him to back off, leave me alone. I told him to stop it. It wasn't funny.
I told him to stop. He was hurting me. Get off. Let go. Stop.
I couldn't really fight back. After futile attempts I stopped even trying. What was the point?
I owed him. Oh yeah, right. He is such a piece of ... spineless dung. Bastard.

Someone came in; upstairs. He flinched. I ran for the bathroom, grabbing my stuff. I put everything, me, back together. Washed my face, took a deep breath, put on that smile - nothing wrong one- and opened the door.
The whole room was back to normal, like nothing had ever happened. He was sitting on the couch smiling, arm flung over the back, and patted the spot next to him. His mom in the laundry room next door.
I went upstairs. I didn't stay another night. I didn't go back there either. She would come stay at with me. He would come too, but I always stayed with the adults.

At the end of the summer there was big family picnic at the lake. I stayed with the little kids all day. He'd come and go. Someone made the comment at how helpful he was. What ever I did he was there. Helpful. I was helpful, but I was supposed to be. He was being an....
It worked until the end of the day. Most of the cars were gone already. Someone was missing. I even forget who. I went to look and he offered to help.
Being so helpful today, So nice. She is such a good influence on him. We'll to make sure they spend more time together then. I think we could do that. I could get used to such a nice boy.

NO! I heard it all as I ran to the right around the lake. He wouldn't make me stay with him would he? Yes he would. How could he? Dad, no! I ran faster. They weren't on my side. They were going to take his, just like he said they would. You'll see.
I saw him head to the left, at least he wasn't coming with me. Pig. I ran faster. I heard someone shout they'd found her. I was already more than half way around. Heard them say they'd come back for the two of us. Two of us??! Crap. Everyone else was gone. Crap. I stopped dead in my tracks. I didn't run anymore. I turned, I knew he was ahead of me. Should I run back the other way? We were going to meet up. I couldn't change that. Couldn't stop that. Where did I want that to happen?
I turned around again. I was closer to keep going ahead than to go back. For all I knew he didn't even make the first loop. Just pretending, like always. How could I not have seen that before? He could be right in front of me too. I started walking, slowly. It would be at least 30 minutes before anyone made it back. He caught me. I was right. He had just made it to that first loop. Phony. 15 minutes.
He pulled me close, tight. I knew I couldn't get free, away. He whispered something about being interrupted, something about a replay but with a grand finale. I knew I had to do something. Poker face. I turned and smiled. He relaxed his hold.
Sure. [smile]
I timed it just right.
[turning] he liked games right?
First you have to catch me though.
I ran. Fast.
Not back along the path.
I zigzagged through the trees, away from the path.
I heard him call something.
I didn't listen. Not now, not ever again.
I ran.
He was somewhere behind, he never caught me.
I made it back to the parking lot when I heard the car coming.
I slowed down. coming at it from behind.
He came down the path few minutes later with that grin on his face.
Then he saw the car pull in. His face fell. I laughed, for real this time and got in.

One other time at a gathering he asked if I wanted to go somewhere alone for a replay.
I smiled and stepped on his foot, accidental spilling my cup on him. I was wearing heals.
Sorry you startled me.
I haven't been back there since.
It's been 20 years.
He only got me once.